The old saying is, “Friends are Like Stars, you don’t always see them, but you always know they are there”

I have been very fortunate to have some special friends in my life, but life gets busy, and we don’t always take the time we should to catch up. During Covid, however, friends did check up on each other, and I hope that continues for all of us.

Mal Meninga was one of those friends. I was fortunate to meet Mal, after my son was born, and we have been friends for over 25 years. He was my favorite league player (which is why, despite being born in NSW, I have always followed the Raiders and Queensland in State of Origin). Mal is the most genuine and humble person, and to this day, I still think, he is our best ever league player, and just a great friend.

A knack for motivation

In 2002, our mutual friend and cricket legend, Allan Border, was walking from Sydney to Brisbane, known as “AB’s Trek for Kids”, to raise money for children’s charities. Being the least athletic person I know, I had suggested Mal and I walk one stretch, from Byron to Pottsville, and then get some sun, however, before I knew it, we were walking from Byron Bay to Brisbane, via the old pacific highway (and lots of hills)…some 200kms over 4 or 5 days.  By far my most physical challenge, but Mal was determined that I was walking into the Gabba.

Mal has a knack for getting you motivated, and any time I looked like struggling over that 200kms (which was probably 195 kms), Mal would drop a funny or sarcastic one liner, which was his way of motivating me to keep walking. It’s this special skill of building a winning team culture, and genuinely wanting everyone around him to be successful, that has resulted in him being the most successful origin coach ever, and saw this girl walk into the Gabba! He is one of those friends that you know if you ever need anything or are looking for support or motivation, he is there! That’s why when I asked him to contribute a blog he happily did so and wanted to talk about the important issue of looking after yourself and others during Covid.

Mal Meninga ‘Not Always But Sometimes’

• Why sometimes can’t we do as we are told?
• Why do we know what the right thing to do is but sometimes discard it?
• Why do we sometimes listen to sound advice and then go and do the opposite anyway?
• Why sometimes do we as human beings just can’t or won’t toe the line?

It’s human nature, to be inquisitive, to test someone, to test the system, to take shortcuts, to avoid conflict, find excuses not to do things or feel mischievous. It’s why in this current climate, we see people sometimes not doing their civil duties as we witness unaustralian behaviour flouting the rules.

COVID-19 has stretched our mental health, our emotional boundaries and even our physical and social capabilities. It has pushed out the old norm to a new reality. We have had to cope with unprecedented challenges, asked to do unusual things that affect our personal freedoms and in so many cases, to readjust and adapt our lifestyles to work and live.

We are social beasts. We like to be in control of our lives, our career, our environment and what we do, how we live our lives, we do need certainty. We have enough pressures without COVID interfering and adding to it. I do not pretend to know about everyone’s personal situation and I certainly haven’t got any answers on how to get through this unscathed, but I do know that if you can’t look after yourself, how the hell can you look after others?

The importance of looking after yourself

Like success on the footy field, if you haven’t done the right thing through the week with your preparation, training well, eating healthily, getting enough sleep, professionally treating your injuries, or managing stress levels, you will have Buckley’s chance of playing to your potential and in turn you can’t help your teammate and you will ultimately let them down.

Someone dear to me was looking after a three-year-old by herself as there was a custody case going on. The baby girl was in her care for 18 months and was loved and cared for unconditionally. Unfortunately, her nurturing genes took over and she devoted herself to the baby girl and forgot about any self-care for herself. She had a stroke, ironically separating her from the baby girl and leaving her wondering what went wrong. Thankfully, both are well with the baby girl now happily reunited with family and the lesson was well learnt, if you don’t take care of yourself, there is no way you can take care of others.

That’s what I have taken out of the COVID pandemic and the restrictive lives we all live now. We don’t just need to think about adapting but we have to, we really don’t have any other choice. We have to reset ourselves and sure up our futures. What are you doing now to future proof your careers, finances, family and importantly yourself? There are people who rely on you which we all innately enjoy; it gives you a sense of belonging but to give some thought to investing some time into being a happier and healthier person is worthwhile.

I say all the time, the first steps are the hardest, persistence is crucial but see where it can take you. Don’t be a sometimes person, be an always one, look COVID and your difficulties in the eyes, don’t let anything beat you, use it all to be a better you. Its easier just to do the right thing.

Finally, Debbie, congratulations on getting started with Clubs Without Borders. What a great initiative. Well done!